


Lawyer Up

by NissatheVagabond



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, FAHC, Handcuffs, I know I should put more but I'm lazy, Sex in Interrogation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NissatheVagabond/pseuds/NissatheVagabond
Summary: The Vagabond has been arrested after a heist. The cops know he's packing more weapons than meets the eye. Then his lawyer shows up...





	Lawyer Up

The precinct was tense after responding to the heist by FAHC. They had lost about 10 officers but gained a very important prisoner: The Vagabond. The glares he got as he was lead to the interrogation room would have blanched a lesser person. He looked positively gleeful as he strolled among the desks. His face paint was spattered with blood not his own. His clothes were slightly singed. The younger cops had to be held back by their superiors. As he stepped into the interrogation room, he looked directly at the two-way mirror and winked.

“We have to nail this bastard. We have him at the scene of the crime, armed, and witnesses. He is ours.” The chief was almost vibrating with righteous excitement. The detective with him nodded, smirking smugly. A lieutenant popped his head in.

“Chief, a lady claiming to be his lawyer is here.” The chief narrowed his eyes.

“Does it look like Patillo?” The lieutenant shook his head.

“I did a check before we let her back here. She’s legit, sir.” He stepped in to hand the chief a card. _Ryan Haywood, Esq. Attorney at Law._ The chief sighed and nodded.

“Let her in. We’re just about to have a couple officers check him for additional weapons.” The lieutenant nodded and stepped back out. A young woman came in a moment later. He glanced at her. She definitely did not look like Jack Patillo in disguise. He nodded at her. “Just about to disarm your client.” She frowned.

“You didn’t do that before you took him into custody?” The chief snorted.

“Lady, this asshole carries more weapons on him than a goddamn army surplus store. We’ve lost enough officers to his hidden shit.” She coughed, the detective thought it looked like she was hiding a smirk.

“I see.” They grew quiet as they watch the officers come in. They secured the Vagabond’s hands to an eyelet bolted into the wall. With his jacket off, his arm muscles rippled slightly. He even had the nerve to flex, never breaking eye contact with the two-way mirror. The chief grunted.

“Cocky bastard.” Once his feet were manacled to the wall, two officers started going over Vagabond’s body slowly. They found two ankle holsters with throwing knives. Working up his legs, they found three more knives strapped to each calf. The chief glanced at the detective. “Go tell them to pull his pants down; he had mini bombs strapped to his hips last time.” The detective nodded and went to the room, popping his head in. The Vagabond’s smirk widened into a grin as one of the officers opened his pants and pulled them down to his ankles. No bombs this time, thankfully, but he did have two machetes, one for each thigh. As an officer lifted his shirt to check his abdomen and back, the Vagabond licked his lips in seeming anticipation. The chief shook his head.

“What a sick fuck. He’s probably getting off on being searched like this.”

“Yeah, what kind of pervert enjoys getting strip searched?” Miss Haywood mused. The chief glanced at her. She had a file hugged to her chest, looking…well, he wasn’t sure, but it might be fear. Her eyes were wide, and she was breathing a bit fast.

“This your first time repping the bastard?” She seemed to shake herself, tearing her eyes from the Vagabond and smiled weakly.

“Yes, I’m a junior partner at our firm. We’ve been the crew’s law office for a while.” He nodded and looked back at the Vagabond. The criminal had his hair freed from it’s ponytail, dark hair slipping into his icy blue eyes, because believe it or not, he had stowed thin, tiny knives along his scalp one time. They learned from that encounter to check his hair. 

“That…is a lot of weaponry.”

“Yup, the cocksucker enjoys giving us a hard time.” The officers freed Vagabond’s feet to take away his boots before releasing him to sit at the table. “Well, Miss Haywood, he’s all yours.”

“Yes, he is.” Her voice almost sounded covetous. She cleared her throat. “Attorney/client privilege, chief. I’ll need you to leave this room and turn off the camera to that room, if you don’t mind?”

“I mind, but I’m gonna make sure I nail this bastard’s balls to a tree, so I’m gonna agree.” He opened the door for her. “Detective, escort Miss Haywood into the interrogation room and shut off the camera so she can talk to her client.” The detective nodded and opened the door to the interrogation room for her.

“It’s Mrs. Haywood, actually. Thank you, chief.” As she stepped in, the Vagabond looked up and smirked.

“Well, hello there. Must be my birthday.” Mrs. Haywood shook her head and sat down across from him, placing her briefcase down on the table. The detective looked at her. She smiled and waved him off. He shook his head and closed the door. She sighed when it clicked shut and looked at the Vagabond.

“You’re goddamned lucky I was in town, babe.” The Vagabond grinned, almost predatory as he leered over her.

“If I’d known, I would have put on my good heisting underwear.” She snorted and shook her head.

“Seriously, Ryan!? ‘Heisting underwear’? Why do I put up with you again?” Ryan leaned in and his voice was a seductive purr.

“Because I’m sure watching me get strip searched got you almost as hot as it did me.” He tried to reach over the table to her, but his cuffs stopped him. The lawyer wet her lips with her tongue. She felt something sliding up her calf. It was his foot, easing its way up to her thighs. Shivering, she raised an eyebrow.

“Surprised you didn’t pop a boner when they dropped your pants.” Ryan smirked, his foot stroking along her inner thigh. “Now, I know this isn’t the holding cell, but this might be the best we can do.” Ryan grinned brightly.

“Aw, honey, you remembered!” She smirked as she got up. “Did Jack give you the key for these? I need to touch you.” Walking around the table, the woman shook her head.

“I’m not going to make this easy for you, love. When Geoff called me to let me know where you were, I was livid. How could you, of all people, get arrested during a heist!?” Ryan had the sense to look apologetic.

“I was covering Jeremy’s escape! I didn’t mean to get caught! Sweetheart, you have to believe me!” He started to get up, but she grabbed his shoulder and pushed him to sit back down. She ran her hand through his hair. He melted into the touch, then yelped when she yanked his head back by the hair at the base of his skull. She swooped in and covered his mouth with hers, muffling the yelp. He growled softly, kissing her hard. She hummed and kissed back just as hard, twisting the handful of hair slightly to make him whimper.

“Baby…I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know, Ryan. I missed you too. But I didn’t want to come from visiting my parents to come play lawyer for my husband.” He chuckled softly.

“If it helps, you look very nice today. Isn’t that the blouse I got you last month?” She smiled and stroked a fingertip along the line of his throat. Ryan shivered, tilting his chin back for her. His hand tried to reach for her hip, impeded once again by the cuffs. He huffed. “Honey, please? We’ll have way more fun if I can use my hands.” She laughed softly.

“I seem to remember you claiming, rather boastfully, that you don’t need your hands to get me off…” She hopped up on the table, shifting to straddle him. Her smile turned wicked. “Let’s see.” Ryan swallowed then licked his lips. As she sat with her legs open before him, he could see a garter just above the hem of her skirt, securing the key to his cuffs to her inner thigh. He looked up at her and smirked.

“I love you.” She smirked back, hitching up her skirt. To his delight, the garter and key were all she had on under the skirt.

“I know.”

Dipping his head, he kissed up her thigh softly, letting the smell of her arousal fill his nose. She sighed, leaning back slightly on an elbow. Ryan nipped lightly at the skin just next to the key and licked the sting away. He nuzzled with his nose before leaning in more to reach her lips. His tongue flicked out to tease lightly, smirking slightly when she let out a soft gasp. He ran his tongue up her slit slowly, pointing his tongue to tease her clit. She trembled, shifting to pull her skirt up more, giving him better access.

“Open your legs more, baby.” She obeyed immediately. Ryan rewarded her by licking into her pussy gently. She moaned softly. “Shh, not too loud now. They might be listening outside the door.”

“Don’t care, want you here and now, love.” Ryan growled and latched his lips around her clit, sucking firmly. She gasped and bucked to him. “Shit, take the key. I need you inside me.” Ryan chuckled.

“What happened to getting you off without my hands?”

“Fuck that!” She may have said that a little too loud. They both paused, anxiously listening a moment. Ryan moved first, nipping the key out from the garter and releasing his hands quickly. He surged up and pulled her close, wrapping her legs around his waist. She whimpered and fumbled to open his jeans. He kissed her firmly, pushing her hands away to shuck his jeans and boxer briefs. Her hand snaked forward again, grasping his length. They both shuddered and renewed their kiss as she gave him a couple hard tugs. He growled again.

“How do you want it?” She whimpered as he nipped down her neck, waiting for her to answer.

“From behind, I’ll kneel on the table.” Ryan kissed her fiercely once more then pulled back to let her get into position. Once there, she peeked back at him. He was regarding her with undisguised lust, stroking his cock slowly.

“You look so fucking good like this, baby. So wet, so tempting.” He stepped forward again, pushing her at the small of her back slightly to get the angle right. His hand stayed there as he guided himself to her entrance. The head rubbed against the lips. She whimpered and moved back to him.

“Please, just put it in already. It feels like we haven’t had sex in months.” Ryan groaned, inching in slowly.

“It’s been two weeks. That’s too long for me.” He kept inching in until he was in up to his balls. He held for a moment, the familiar and wonderful feeling of her pussy stretched around him welcoming him. “You’re almost too tight again. I had the perfect fit when you left.” She laughed huskily.

“I couldn’t use that replica I packed while I was at my parents’ house. I would’ve made too much noise. Gonna have to stretch me to the right fit again, babe.” Ryan licked his lips, stroking her thigh.

“With pleasure, love.” He pulled out a bit then rammed right back in with a grunt. She gasped and arched, clenching on him eagerly. They established the perfect pace, rough but savoring at the same time. The only noise in the small room was the smack of their skin against each other and their harsh breaths as they strove towards orgasm.

Ryan could feel from the twitching along his length that his wife was close. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back as he sat down hard in the chair. She gasped and peeked back at him. His grin was feral, baring all his teeth.

“I think we should finish this, so I can break out and take you at my leisure.” She moaned slightly and started bouncing on his cock faster. He licked his lips and slipped a hand up under her blouse, caressing and teasing her breast through some skimpy lace. The hand on her waist sought out her clit, rubbing in firm circles as her hips stuttered at the onslaught.

“Fuck, Ryan…I’m almost…OH!” She had to bite her finger to muffle her cry as she came, rocking on him firmly. Ryan glanced at the two-way mirror to see her face as she released. It was enough to help him over the edge behind her, bucking to her rapidly as he came with a groan. For a moment, they just held still, letting the high come down easily. Then, with a sigh, she stood and grabbed her briefcase.

She snapped it open and pulled out a mirror. Glancing at it, she laughed. “I know it’s your thing, but this face paint is hell to get off!” She plucked out a package of makeup remover wipes, getting the streaks of white off her neck and mouth. Ryan just sat, watching her fondly as she repaired her appearance.

When she was satisfied, she produced an earwig from her case and handed it to him. As he switched it on, he heard Geoff grousing. “Couldn’t you two wait until Ryan was back home? Fucking in the goddamn interrogation room, shit on my dick.” Ryan rolled his eyes as his wife laughed softly.

“Ramsey, tell it to someone who cares. I’m about to leave. Tell Ryan the plan…”

Mrs. Haywood stepped out of the interrogation room, looking a bit more chipper than when she went in. The chief and his detective looked at her as she smiled at them brightly. “I’ll be in touch, chief. Have a nice day.” She strode out of the precinct purposefully. The two men looked at each other then went to the interrogation room. The Vagabond was as they left him for the most part. The grin on his face was bigger, if possible.

“Have a good chat, asshole? Probably the last woman you’re gonna see for a while.” He shrugged.

“I could tell you you’re wrong, but then you’d miss the explosion.” He proceeded to duck under the table.

“What ex-“ BOOM! The explosion knocked the two policemen back against the wall. The Vagabond stood up, hands clearly free from his cuffs, and saluted them before slinging his jacket over his shoulder and stepping over the rubble to freedom. As he headed down the sidewalk, Ryan spotted his wife leaning against his Karuma. He smirked and leaned in close to her.

“Hello there.” She smirked back.

“Need a ride?” She held up the keys. Ryan raised an eyebrow.

“In more ways than one. I’ll drive.” She grinned and dropped the keys into his hands before letting him open the passenger door for her. She slid in and he closed it. Some cops started running towards the car. He dove over the hood and into the driver’s seat, starting the car with a roar and peeling out. His wife’s laugh rang out over the sound of the engine and he couldn’t help but join her. He headed for the freeway, losing the cops as he drove them out to their little hideaway along the coast.

“Ryan, you guys should lay low for about a week. I’ll call you on the burner when it’s safe to come back. Try not to fuck too much.” Ryan snorted at Geoff’s request.

“I can’t promise anything, Geoff.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was inspired by another fic I read about frisking Vagabond for weapons. I apologize for not remembering the author or the story's title but it stuck with me.


End file.
